Silas - "9 more years and I'll be an adult."
Me - "No, you aren't an adult until you're 18, bud."
Silas - "Yeah Mom, 9 more years."
What!? How did I not realize that he's half way through his childhood?? 😠I seriously cannot believe it. The statement "the days are long but the years are short" have never been more true. I want SO DESPERATELY to soak in every single laugh, every single tender moment, every single experience with each of my babies and yet most of our days feel so rushed and our weeks so busy.
The realization that we are teetering on tween/teen years has me nervous. I just read an article about 12 year olds and how they shut down and shut out people around them as they begin to navigate the teen years. It's hard for me to believe that my outgoing boy who shares everything about his day will soon become withdrawn and somewhat introverted so I relish these days of conversation, the best conversations being at night before bed.
Silas is still loving baseball and always goes into a season with high hopes of being on the best team. He missed his best friend, Kellen, with every fiber of his being but is learning to navigate the year without him. Kellen was such a constant in our house last summer that most days I just took him along wherever we went because it was just easier. Those two boys being on the same team last year was icing on the cake and they dominated their team. I can only pray that God gives Silas another friend like Kellen or that He brings Kellen back into our lives soon. Silas really misses that deep, connected, brotherly friendship that he had with Kellen.
He got his first mountain bike for his birthday. He was so pumped, so eager to go out and ride. Seeing his excitement and watching that face light up is so awesome. I want his gorgeous hair, his big, dark eyes and his phenomenal eyelashes etched in my memory forever. Seriously, the most handsome kid I've ever seen.
Although he's made some mistakes this year, he's made some awesome decisions that have made us so proud. He and his friend saw another student eating lunch alone so they went and joined him. I see little glimpses of his heart like this and it makes me so excited for his future.
We just got back last weekend from spring break in Phoenix. Briar was a perfect traveler and the big kids had so much fun. Seeing their excitement and joy when it comes to vacation is so much fun. They love flying and always come home on such a high. The memories they have of our trips are so awesome and I love that they are getting to see part of the world. A big thanks to my parents for taking us along!
Sunday, March 31, 2019
Saturday, March 2, 2019
6 months in
Here we are 6, almost 7, months in with Briar. I literally wouldn't trade her for anything. 6 months has flown by and even though this is my third time doing this, I'm still surprised at how fast time goes.
Briar sits pretty well by herself for a while although we stay close because she'll topple over every time. She very much dislikes being on her own and still protests when we aren't engaging her in conversation or play. EVERYthing goes in the mouth, except baby food. She purses her lips and refuses to open her mouth with baby food. So mama's milk it is. Still every three hours. She did have some ice cream the other day and seemed to enjoy that.
She thrives on the chaos of our house. Her favorite spot is in my arms, snuggling or on my hip while I do things around the house. I sure do love having a baby on my hip. I think I could live like that forever. Silas always wanted to be facing out to see what was going on but Stella and Briar love to snuggle facing in or close to me on my hip.
She was 14 pounds 9 ounces at her 6 month check, which is what Silas weighed....at 2 months. Ha! My petite little gal. She's started sucking on her toes which is just so stinking cute.
Stella is beyond ready for Kindergarten. In fact she hates being asked about preschool because she's embarrassed to be in preschool. She has started doing addition and subtraction is and I think it's safe to say she's obsessed. This girl could do math all day long. Still my sweet girl, she is looking more and more like her Daddy to me. My parents say she is a spitting image of me but I see a lot of Jake in her. I could snuggle Stella all day and both of us would be content. I hate that she's a middle child but she doesn't seem to mind. My "best girl" for so long, my attention has been taken away from her when Briar arrived and although it's been hard for both of us, I think we're still very close. She's the best big sister and has finally started really taking an interest in Briar and interacting with her.
Silas will be 9 at the end of the month and my heart cannot hardly take it. He seems to be a rollercoaster of behavior at school - mostly good but occasionally a little naughty. Nothing terrible, just boy stuff. His teacher was ringing a bell at school and he said in front of the class, "ring that chime, girl!" Although it makes me laugh, obviously it was disrespectful and he got a note home. Where does he come up with this stuff?
He is amazing with Briar and goes out of his way to hold her, interact with her and greet her. She thinks he's good stuff too. His first baseball tryouts are today and that kid is so excited. He so desperately wants to be good and on a good team that travels and does tournaments. Those teams are SO expensive and I feel bad he can't do those but such is life with a growing family.
Jake and I had our 19 year dating anniversary yesterday. We mentioned it in passing and couldn't believe it's been 19 years but didn't do much else to commemorate. Life has been crazy and busy. I'm picking up at work more, he's working weekends for a neighbor. We're all looking forward to Arizona in a couple weeks with my family.
And spring....we're so ready for spring!!!!
Briar sits pretty well by herself for a while although we stay close because she'll topple over every time. She very much dislikes being on her own and still protests when we aren't engaging her in conversation or play. EVERYthing goes in the mouth, except baby food. She purses her lips and refuses to open her mouth with baby food. So mama's milk it is. Still every three hours. She did have some ice cream the other day and seemed to enjoy that.
She thrives on the chaos of our house. Her favorite spot is in my arms, snuggling or on my hip while I do things around the house. I sure do love having a baby on my hip. I think I could live like that forever. Silas always wanted to be facing out to see what was going on but Stella and Briar love to snuggle facing in or close to me on my hip.
She was 14 pounds 9 ounces at her 6 month check, which is what Silas weighed....at 2 months. Ha! My petite little gal. She's started sucking on her toes which is just so stinking cute.
Stella is beyond ready for Kindergarten. In fact she hates being asked about preschool because she's embarrassed to be in preschool. She has started doing addition and subtraction is and I think it's safe to say she's obsessed. This girl could do math all day long. Still my sweet girl, she is looking more and more like her Daddy to me. My parents say she is a spitting image of me but I see a lot of Jake in her. I could snuggle Stella all day and both of us would be content. I hate that she's a middle child but she doesn't seem to mind. My "best girl" for so long, my attention has been taken away from her when Briar arrived and although it's been hard for both of us, I think we're still very close. She's the best big sister and has finally started really taking an interest in Briar and interacting with her.
Silas will be 9 at the end of the month and my heart cannot hardly take it. He seems to be a rollercoaster of behavior at school - mostly good but occasionally a little naughty. Nothing terrible, just boy stuff. His teacher was ringing a bell at school and he said in front of the class, "ring that chime, girl!" Although it makes me laugh, obviously it was disrespectful and he got a note home. Where does he come up with this stuff?
He is amazing with Briar and goes out of his way to hold her, interact with her and greet her. She thinks he's good stuff too. His first baseball tryouts are today and that kid is so excited. He so desperately wants to be good and on a good team that travels and does tournaments. Those teams are SO expensive and I feel bad he can't do those but such is life with a growing family.
Jake and I had our 19 year dating anniversary yesterday. We mentioned it in passing and couldn't believe it's been 19 years but didn't do much else to commemorate. Life has been crazy and busy. I'm picking up at work more, he's working weekends for a neighbor. We're all looking forward to Arizona in a couple weeks with my family.
And spring....we're so ready for spring!!!!
Sunday, January 13, 2019
January blues
To be honest, I really don't have January blues although it seems every January I do get seasonal "blues". This January has had temps in the upper 50's and although we finally had a good snow yesterday, it's a sunny 30 degrees. The only thing getting me down today is this house. And yet here I sit and write. I do have a sleeping babe in the Ergo so I'm limited to what I can do right now anyway.
Hard to believe but Silas is almost 9. I know the next 9 years with him home will fly by. He's finally showing some responsibility in certain areas while still acting like a little punk in others (mostly when it comes to his sister). He's great with Briar, I just wish he'd treat Stella as nicely. He's gotten a few calls home from school to brag about good behavior, which still seems to catch Jake and I off guard. ;) I'm so thankful he's well behaved at school.
Stella starts tumbling this week and can't hardly stand the wait of going to her first class. She's been waiting all year to do something just for her and I think she'll be great. I've seen a shift in her since Briar came along. Most of it is probably age but she's shuts me out more, would prefer to wear an old t-shirt and black leggings instead of cute girly clothes (say WHAT?) and has million emotions throughout the day. Tears happen at the drop of a hat and some days are down right challenging. She has an amazing heart though and is quick to apologize for bad behavior...I just miss the girl that was sweet 99% of the time.
Briar is almost 5 months. I cannot believe it. She has started protesting Mommy walking away from her when put down and has started putting everything in her mouth. She's very much into being held and has really started taking an interest in her toys. Briar quickly rolls from back to tummy but again prefers to be up where the action is. She LOVES watching Silas and Stella do anything and thinks everything they do is worth a smile.
I suppose that's all for now. I had some profound thoughts but of course once I find time to sit down and write, I can't remember what they were. Haha!
Hard to believe but Silas is almost 9. I know the next 9 years with him home will fly by. He's finally showing some responsibility in certain areas while still acting like a little punk in others (mostly when it comes to his sister). He's great with Briar, I just wish he'd treat Stella as nicely. He's gotten a few calls home from school to brag about good behavior, which still seems to catch Jake and I off guard. ;) I'm so thankful he's well behaved at school.
Stella starts tumbling this week and can't hardly stand the wait of going to her first class. She's been waiting all year to do something just for her and I think she'll be great. I've seen a shift in her since Briar came along. Most of it is probably age but she's shuts me out more, would prefer to wear an old t-shirt and black leggings instead of cute girly clothes (say WHAT?) and has million emotions throughout the day. Tears happen at the drop of a hat and some days are down right challenging. She has an amazing heart though and is quick to apologize for bad behavior...I just miss the girl that was sweet 99% of the time.
Briar is almost 5 months. I cannot believe it. She has started protesting Mommy walking away from her when put down and has started putting everything in her mouth. She's very much into being held and has really started taking an interest in her toys. Briar quickly rolls from back to tummy but again prefers to be up where the action is. She LOVES watching Silas and Stella do anything and thinks everything they do is worth a smile.
I suppose that's all for now. I had some profound thoughts but of course once I find time to sit down and write, I can't remember what they were. Haha!
Monday, November 19, 2018
3 months
Sweet Briar is 3 months old as of yesterday!! This girl is a DREAM. She weighs 12 pounds, 8 ounces and is smiling, cooing, trying to blow bubbles and rolled from tummy to back today. She loves her Mama and loves to nurse...in fact, she refused a bottle for quite some time. Nama came to take care of her while I started back to work and finally got her to take a bottle.
Mama's first week back to work was full of tears (for me) but it felt okay to get in the swing of things. I sure did miss my girl, though. 20-30 minutes after work just isn't enough time with her and I find myself rocking her longer than I need to at night.
Briar has been sleeping 12 hours at night for quite some time now, maybe 3 weeks? which makes her the best baby in the world. 😉 She eats every three hours and we're just getting the hang of a regular nap schedule. Going to the gym seems to throw a wrench in nap times so I've been running on the treadmill in the basement a few times a week on my days off before anyone else is awake.
Another bit of change around here is that I'm leaving the Emergency Room. I'm so sad to be leaving but there isn't room for growth for me there, not that there will be at my new job in PACU, but it feels like it's time to move on based on some of the decisions of administration in the ER. I've cried many tears over this decision and had many co-workers and physicians reach out to me which means the world. These people have been my second family for 11 years. We have coded, trauma'd, rejoiced, and cried together and I can't imagine loving a group of people more than I do this team. I'm staying PRN and I'm hopeful that some day maybe there will be an opening for me to return back if circumstances are favorable.
That's all for now! Next up, CHRISTMAS!!
Mama's first week back to work was full of tears (for me) but it felt okay to get in the swing of things. I sure did miss my girl, though. 20-30 minutes after work just isn't enough time with her and I find myself rocking her longer than I need to at night.
Briar has been sleeping 12 hours at night for quite some time now, maybe 3 weeks? which makes her the best baby in the world. 😉 She eats every three hours and we're just getting the hang of a regular nap schedule. Going to the gym seems to throw a wrench in nap times so I've been running on the treadmill in the basement a few times a week on my days off before anyone else is awake.
Another bit of change around here is that I'm leaving the Emergency Room. I'm so sad to be leaving but there isn't room for growth for me there, not that there will be at my new job in PACU, but it feels like it's time to move on based on some of the decisions of administration in the ER. I've cried many tears over this decision and had many co-workers and physicians reach out to me which means the world. These people have been my second family for 11 years. We have coded, trauma'd, rejoiced, and cried together and I can't imagine loving a group of people more than I do this team. I'm staying PRN and I'm hopeful that some day maybe there will be an opening for me to return back if circumstances are favorable.
That's all for now! Next up, CHRISTMAS!!
Sunday, September 30, 2018
Briar's birth story
The wee morning hours of August 17th, 2018 I had been up a few times in the night not really feeling well. But this wasn't abnormal for me. I'd woken up multiple times a night the past 2-3 weeks feeling "off" and wondering if I was in labor. Of course the morning of the 17th I remained hopeful as I had every other time I'd felt that way.
By 7am I knew this was the day. We were all awake, Jake getting ready to take Silas to KTC (I'd had him scheduled in case I was in labor and it was the last day of summer camp for him so he was really wanting to go). I asked Jake what he had planned that day and told him not to go far, I thought this was the day. I'd had an aching abdomen but again, that wasn't abnormal as I'd had it several times before. I starting throwing toiletries in my overnight bag because I knew, inevitably, that we'd be headed in...I just wasn't sure when.
Very quickly my contractions progressed to where they were uncomfortable. On one hand, I wanted to labor at home as long as I could, on the other hand I'd been told multiple times not to wait to come in when I was in labor as they anticipated that this delivery could be fast since I'd only labored with Stella an hour and a half.
Jake returned from taking Silas to KTC, looked at me and started packing up the car. He knew that's where we were headed, even if I was stubbornly thinking I could just wait it out.
I texted my Mom around 10am telling her that we were headed in (I'd already been in communication with her that morning as she was our designated photographer for the birth) and she wrote back "coming!!" The drive to the hospital was somewhat intense with contractions getting stronger and me leaning my head back to breathe through them. This, of course, made Jake a nervous Nelly.
We arrived at the hospital at 11am (with Stella...Elliott was at a golf tournament so we thought it would be no big deal to bring her and have her go with my Dad when they got there. We had time, right?). 11:05 I was put into the EDOB where they check you, get vitals, start your chart, etc. Dr. Lange came in and checked me - I was 6cm dilated (I had been 5cm dilated at 70% effaced just two days prior at my 39 week checkup). "Move her to labor and delivery" she told the nurse. Jake immediately teared up.
Let me pause here and tell you about my emotional man. Jake is not a man that cries. I've seen him cry only two times in our 18 years together. But this guy broke down. Excitement? Fear? Disbelief? Probably all of it.
The nurse whisked me away to Labor and Delivery, just down the hall where I met Kelsey, my nurse. Cute, skinny, tanned Kelsey. I immediately thought, "great, I get the toned, thin nurse while I'm over here being as big as a whale" - I was irritated. But Kelsey proved to be opposite of all my selfish, insecure, judgmental thoughts. Hey, I never claimed to be a rational pregnant woman. Anyway, Kelsey was amazing. She was all the things an OB nurse should be and when all was said and done, Stella told her, "I feel like you're part of our family." She included the big kids and was just awesome.
Within 45 min or so of being moved to L&D, I was dilated 7-8cm and the contractions were getting painful. Tonya, my BFF, was there and she helped put counter-pressure on my low back while Jake stepped out to make phone calls. She was so encouraging and helped keep my mind off the inevitable. Love that woman. Ladies listen up. Get yourself a man like Jake and a BFF like Tonya.
So I texted Mom just before noon asking how soon they'd be here - they were 60 miles out. Uhhh...ok, not a big deal. Tonya can take Stella out if we get desperate. Jake can snap pictures. We can do this. After all, if anything has taught us to roll with the punches, it's been this pregnancy.
At around 12:40 or so I was at a 9 and VERY uncomfortable. I don't remember Stella witnessing all this, but I know she was still in the room at this point. I don't think she recognized what was happening. Mom and Dad got there at 12:52 or something close to that and Dad got Stella out right away. He was given instructions to feed her and get Silas. Okay, Dad's on a mission.
No sooner did he walk out of the room, Dr. Lange came in to break my water. Things were INTENSE by this point. Also -- too late for an epidural. I'd gone in with the mindset of "lets see if we can do this naturally and avoid the epidural cost". Okay well here we go, au natural!
Dr. Lange broke my water and within 4 minutes, Miss Briar Lou entered this world. She was bright-eyed and beautiful. A mini of her brother and sister.
There were some bleeding issues after delivery in which Dr. Lange had to retrieve a piece of placenta that was stuck to my uterus (I won't go into detail about that, but that was worse than the delivery). At one point she talked about taking me to the OR if the bleeding didn't stop but thankfully it did and we were able to enjoy our sweet new babe.
This day will be etched in my memory as one of the happiest days of my life. It went so quickly with the happiest of endings. We love you so much, Briar Lou!!
By 7am I knew this was the day. We were all awake, Jake getting ready to take Silas to KTC (I'd had him scheduled in case I was in labor and it was the last day of summer camp for him so he was really wanting to go). I asked Jake what he had planned that day and told him not to go far, I thought this was the day. I'd had an aching abdomen but again, that wasn't abnormal as I'd had it several times before. I starting throwing toiletries in my overnight bag because I knew, inevitably, that we'd be headed in...I just wasn't sure when.
Very quickly my contractions progressed to where they were uncomfortable. On one hand, I wanted to labor at home as long as I could, on the other hand I'd been told multiple times not to wait to come in when I was in labor as they anticipated that this delivery could be fast since I'd only labored with Stella an hour and a half.
Jake returned from taking Silas to KTC, looked at me and started packing up the car. He knew that's where we were headed, even if I was stubbornly thinking I could just wait it out.
I texted my Mom around 10am telling her that we were headed in (I'd already been in communication with her that morning as she was our designated photographer for the birth) and she wrote back "coming!!" The drive to the hospital was somewhat intense with contractions getting stronger and me leaning my head back to breathe through them. This, of course, made Jake a nervous Nelly.
We arrived at the hospital at 11am (with Stella...Elliott was at a golf tournament so we thought it would be no big deal to bring her and have her go with my Dad when they got there. We had time, right?). 11:05 I was put into the EDOB where they check you, get vitals, start your chart, etc. Dr. Lange came in and checked me - I was 6cm dilated (I had been 5cm dilated at 70% effaced just two days prior at my 39 week checkup). "Move her to labor and delivery" she told the nurse. Jake immediately teared up.
Let me pause here and tell you about my emotional man. Jake is not a man that cries. I've seen him cry only two times in our 18 years together. But this guy broke down. Excitement? Fear? Disbelief? Probably all of it.
The nurse whisked me away to Labor and Delivery, just down the hall where I met Kelsey, my nurse. Cute, skinny, tanned Kelsey. I immediately thought, "great, I get the toned, thin nurse while I'm over here being as big as a whale" - I was irritated. But Kelsey proved to be opposite of all my selfish, insecure, judgmental thoughts. Hey, I never claimed to be a rational pregnant woman. Anyway, Kelsey was amazing. She was all the things an OB nurse should be and when all was said and done, Stella told her, "I feel like you're part of our family." She included the big kids and was just awesome.
Within 45 min or so of being moved to L&D, I was dilated 7-8cm and the contractions were getting painful. Tonya, my BFF, was there and she helped put counter-pressure on my low back while Jake stepped out to make phone calls. She was so encouraging and helped keep my mind off the inevitable. Love that woman. Ladies listen up. Get yourself a man like Jake and a BFF like Tonya.
So I texted Mom just before noon asking how soon they'd be here - they were 60 miles out. Uhhh...ok, not a big deal. Tonya can take Stella out if we get desperate. Jake can snap pictures. We can do this. After all, if anything has taught us to roll with the punches, it's been this pregnancy.
At around 12:40 or so I was at a 9 and VERY uncomfortable. I don't remember Stella witnessing all this, but I know she was still in the room at this point. I don't think she recognized what was happening. Mom and Dad got there at 12:52 or something close to that and Dad got Stella out right away. He was given instructions to feed her and get Silas. Okay, Dad's on a mission.
No sooner did he walk out of the room, Dr. Lange came in to break my water. Things were INTENSE by this point. Also -- too late for an epidural. I'd gone in with the mindset of "lets see if we can do this naturally and avoid the epidural cost". Okay well here we go, au natural!
Dr. Lange broke my water and within 4 minutes, Miss Briar Lou entered this world. She was bright-eyed and beautiful. A mini of her brother and sister.
There were some bleeding issues after delivery in which Dr. Lange had to retrieve a piece of placenta that was stuck to my uterus (I won't go into detail about that, but that was worse than the delivery). At one point she talked about taking me to the OR if the bleeding didn't stop but thankfully it did and we were able to enjoy our sweet new babe.
This day will be etched in my memory as one of the happiest days of my life. It went so quickly with the happiest of endings. We love you so much, Briar Lou!!
Saturday, September 29, 2018
It's been a while...
Wow. I cannot believe it's been 3.5 years since I've last blogged. Do people still blog? I'm sure there are new, fancier ways of blogging than what I'm doing now so I'll have to look into that. But for now, I might just need to catch you up.
Silas is now 8.5 (what!?!? How did that even happen??) and that sassiness I was talking about in my last blog? It's still alive and well. Insert palm-to-face emoji. He loves baseball - Cubs baseball - and playing, any position. It has been so FUN to watch him play. And he is good...like really good. Or maybe the other players were just really bad. Either way, he understands the game and had a great summer playing with his best friend on his team. He's in 3rd grade and so far has really enjoyed his teacher, Miss Kessel.
Stella just celebrated her 5th birthday. Oh, what an absolute JOY she is. She is exactly what I dreamed of having in a daughter. I knew I was meant to mother a girl...I could feel it in my bones. She is sweet, has the most wonderful heart that is so genuine and kind (except when it comes to her brother...then "it's on like big-ton-shawn"...except the real expression is "it's on like Blake Shelton") and she is still a Mama's girl. My heart swoons when she asks to cuddle. Stella is in preschool and loves all things crafty, coloring and creating.
And now for the biggest update of all....
-----Insert drum roll please----
3:08pm, August 17th 2018 brought us the sweetest surprise of our lives. Briar Lou. 8 pounds, 10 ounces and 20 inches of squish and goodness. So much goodness.
Let me back up and explain the surprise aspect of this. December 2017 I was maaaaybe a day late for my period. I'd had a few months of very irregular periods, which was abnormal for me, so it wasn't unlike me to be taking pregnancy tests, even though I was on birth control. Well you guessed it, this test was positive. Now let me tell you that 2017 had been easily the hardest year of our married lives. Jake had been without a job for all but five months in 2017 so when I found out I was pregnant, I cried. I sobbed. How could God do this to us? He knew our situation...how could this be part of His plan at this point in our lives? My faith was tested a lot in 2017 but this was the icing on the cake.
Fast forward to August 2018. I went into the delivery room still thinking "I'm not ready for this, I can't believe this is happening." Briar's delivery (I'll get into the full birth story in another post) was fast, super fast. And the second that girl was placed on my chest, I knew I had to just trust that God knew what He was doing. And when those two big kids I spoke of earlier came in and saw her, my heart literally melted into a thousand pieces.
That first night with just her and Jake was magical. It gave Jake and I time to really, really wrap our minds and hearts over this expanding family of ours that we were so hesitant about. I bonded with her. I held her skin to skin. I smelled her - that intoxicating newborn scent - and I looked into her eyes.
Here we are, six weeks in as a family of 5 and let me tell you, it's pretty awesome. Briar is a dream, an absolute DREAM. Since her fifth day of life she has slept at night, only waking once to eat. How does that even happen? She even slept a whole 10 hours her fifth week of life! She is just starting to coo and really hams up a smile, especially for Mommy. I love her fiercely. Briar, if you are ever reading this, please know that while you weren't planned, you were intended by God. God had bigger plans for our lives than we could (or can) see. We are immensely thankful for you and love you more than you can ever imagine.
So, I think that catches up the main points of our family. Ha! Stay tuned for Briar's birth story...
Silas is now 8.5 (what!?!? How did that even happen??) and that sassiness I was talking about in my last blog? It's still alive and well. Insert palm-to-face emoji. He loves baseball - Cubs baseball - and playing, any position. It has been so FUN to watch him play. And he is good...like really good. Or maybe the other players were just really bad. Either way, he understands the game and had a great summer playing with his best friend on his team. He's in 3rd grade and so far has really enjoyed his teacher, Miss Kessel.
Stella just celebrated her 5th birthday. Oh, what an absolute JOY she is. She is exactly what I dreamed of having in a daughter. I knew I was meant to mother a girl...I could feel it in my bones. She is sweet, has the most wonderful heart that is so genuine and kind (except when it comes to her brother...then "it's on like big-ton-shawn"...except the real expression is "it's on like Blake Shelton") and she is still a Mama's girl. My heart swoons when she asks to cuddle. Stella is in preschool and loves all things crafty, coloring and creating.
And now for the biggest update of all....
-----Insert drum roll please----
3:08pm, August 17th 2018 brought us the sweetest surprise of our lives. Briar Lou. 8 pounds, 10 ounces and 20 inches of squish and goodness. So much goodness.
Let me back up and explain the surprise aspect of this. December 2017 I was maaaaybe a day late for my period. I'd had a few months of very irregular periods, which was abnormal for me, so it wasn't unlike me to be taking pregnancy tests, even though I was on birth control. Well you guessed it, this test was positive. Now let me tell you that 2017 had been easily the hardest year of our married lives. Jake had been without a job for all but five months in 2017 so when I found out I was pregnant, I cried. I sobbed. How could God do this to us? He knew our situation...how could this be part of His plan at this point in our lives? My faith was tested a lot in 2017 but this was the icing on the cake.
Fast forward to August 2018. I went into the delivery room still thinking "I'm not ready for this, I can't believe this is happening." Briar's delivery (I'll get into the full birth story in another post) was fast, super fast. And the second that girl was placed on my chest, I knew I had to just trust that God knew what He was doing. And when those two big kids I spoke of earlier came in and saw her, my heart literally melted into a thousand pieces.
That first night with just her and Jake was magical. It gave Jake and I time to really, really wrap our minds and hearts over this expanding family of ours that we were so hesitant about. I bonded with her. I held her skin to skin. I smelled her - that intoxicating newborn scent - and I looked into her eyes.
Here we are, six weeks in as a family of 5 and let me tell you, it's pretty awesome. Briar is a dream, an absolute DREAM. Since her fifth day of life she has slept at night, only waking once to eat. How does that even happen? She even slept a whole 10 hours her fifth week of life! She is just starting to coo and really hams up a smile, especially for Mommy. I love her fiercely. Briar, if you are ever reading this, please know that while you weren't planned, you were intended by God. God had bigger plans for our lives than we could (or can) see. We are immensely thankful for you and love you more than you can ever imagine.
So, I think that catches up the main points of our family. Ha! Stay tuned for Briar's birth story...
Monday, April 20, 2015
Happy 5th birthday, Silas!
I can't believe my sweet baby boy is 5 years old! They say time flies when you're having fun, but holy moly! I remember his birth like it was yesterday. We had a fun day celebrating Silas' birthday at home, spending most of the day outside playing with his new big wheel "trick" bike. It was a spontaneous purchase on my part (mostly because I wasn't sure what to get and c'mon, being 5 is a big deal!) and it was a huge hit. Silas loves spinning on it and watching the sparks that fly when he brakes (yes, sparks literally fly!!!). He chose Culver's for lunch and mac 'n cheese for dinner. :)
The day after his birthday we had a party at Sky Zone, a joint party with his best friend, Graham Turcotte. The boys had so much fun jumping and playing with all their friends. Silas chose an army cake with an army tank on it.
Turning 5 has proven to be quite a challenge. I had (naively) thought turning the magic "5" would somehow turn out little boy into a more mature, well behaved bigger boy. 5 is just a number, it literally means nothing (how could I not know this by now?). We've had more problems with sassiness and not listening than ever. He's never been one for meltdowns and tantrums, until he turned 5. Who knew turning 5 could bring such drama!? While it's been tough, we get glimpses once in a while of the fun, sweet boy that's inside. Silas is great with his manners (except when it comes to bodily functions...he still thinks those are hilarious) and loves his sister with all his heart. He has become a huge fan of Nama's and loves spending time with her. He is energetic and loves all sports and absolutely LOVES being outside, rain or shine, hot or cold and prefers to be in shorts and shirtless at all times.
His favorite color is still orange. And just last week he learned to ride his bike without training wheels!! I don't think I've ever seen him so proud. I was at work when he learned and it was nearly dark when he and Jake got home from a soccer game but the three of us went outside so he could show me his new trick. I cheered loudly for him as he rode without training wheels and he jumped off his bike and ran, jumping into my arms. He was literally bursting at the seams with pride (and so was I!) - it was so fun to see the joy he had in this big accomplishment.
And now my annual birthday letter to my boy.
My energetic and sweet boy,
How is it possible that you are 5 years old already? I tell you often that I'm going to put a brick on your head to keep you from growing but in all honestly, I am enjoying watching you grow. I selfishly wish you would stay little forever, but I am truly enjoying watching you grow into a fun-loving, happy boy. You challenge me in ways I've never known were possible and some days make absolutely crazy, but I wouldn't change one thing about you.
You are self-assured and confident and daily tell me things like, "I can run faster than you" ; "I can jump higher than so-and-so"; "I'm better at jumping than so-and-so" and believe whole-heartedly that you are the best at all things in your life. I pray that Daddy and I can help you use this confidence for great things in your life (and tame it down a bit, haha!).
You love for your family, particularly Stella, tells me that someday you will be a great family man. I love how much you love Stella and that no matter what she does, you are always kind to her...sometimes smother her with love, but so far, you are always kind to you and show her great amounts of affection. You'll never know how much that means to Daddy and me.
I love you more than you can even understand. I truly feel that you won't be able to understand the depths of my love for you until you are a Daddy yourself. You are a beautiful brown-eyed, tan-skinned boy and I am so thankful God chose me to be your Mommy.
The day after his birthday we had a party at Sky Zone, a joint party with his best friend, Graham Turcotte. The boys had so much fun jumping and playing with all their friends. Silas chose an army cake with an army tank on it.
Turning 5 has proven to be quite a challenge. I had (naively) thought turning the magic "5" would somehow turn out little boy into a more mature, well behaved bigger boy. 5 is just a number, it literally means nothing (how could I not know this by now?). We've had more problems with sassiness and not listening than ever. He's never been one for meltdowns and tantrums, until he turned 5. Who knew turning 5 could bring such drama!? While it's been tough, we get glimpses once in a while of the fun, sweet boy that's inside. Silas is great with his manners (except when it comes to bodily functions...he still thinks those are hilarious) and loves his sister with all his heart. He has become a huge fan of Nama's and loves spending time with her. He is energetic and loves all sports and absolutely LOVES being outside, rain or shine, hot or cold and prefers to be in shorts and shirtless at all times.
His favorite color is still orange. And just last week he learned to ride his bike without training wheels!! I don't think I've ever seen him so proud. I was at work when he learned and it was nearly dark when he and Jake got home from a soccer game but the three of us went outside so he could show me his new trick. I cheered loudly for him as he rode without training wheels and he jumped off his bike and ran, jumping into my arms. He was literally bursting at the seams with pride (and so was I!) - it was so fun to see the joy he had in this big accomplishment.
And now my annual birthday letter to my boy.
My energetic and sweet boy,
How is it possible that you are 5 years old already? I tell you often that I'm going to put a brick on your head to keep you from growing but in all honestly, I am enjoying watching you grow. I selfishly wish you would stay little forever, but I am truly enjoying watching you grow into a fun-loving, happy boy. You challenge me in ways I've never known were possible and some days make absolutely crazy, but I wouldn't change one thing about you.
You are self-assured and confident and daily tell me things like, "I can run faster than you" ; "I can jump higher than so-and-so"; "I'm better at jumping than so-and-so" and believe whole-heartedly that you are the best at all things in your life. I pray that Daddy and I can help you use this confidence for great things in your life (and tame it down a bit, haha!).
You love for your family, particularly Stella, tells me that someday you will be a great family man. I love how much you love Stella and that no matter what she does, you are always kind to her...sometimes smother her with love, but so far, you are always kind to you and show her great amounts of affection. You'll never know how much that means to Daddy and me.
I love you more than you can even understand. I truly feel that you won't be able to understand the depths of my love for you until you are a Daddy yourself. You are a beautiful brown-eyed, tan-skinned boy and I am so thankful God chose me to be your Mommy.
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