Precious movements

Oh, the joys of feeling the baby move. These moments are precious, especially because there has been so few. Since the first day I felt him/her (I'm holding out hope 'til an ultrasound confirms the sex), I've only felt the baby move a few other times. Once was this past Sunday while I was babysitting a beautiful little 5 week-old. I must've been holding her just right to put enough pressure on my own abdomen that baby decided to react. And then last night when I got into bed, the baby was moving like crazy! It was so fun, I never wanted it to stop!

Let me explain how it feels right now. Feel your radial pulse right now. That light thump? Now imagine that light thump in line with your pelvic bone, about an inch to the right or left of your belly button line...on the inside of your tummy!! I think I've always felt the baby move on my right side, but hadn't paid much attention to exact location until last night.

It's a beautiful feeling and it always leaves me wanting more. I often push on one side of my tummy to see if baby will react and move (Jake hates it when I do that...seems to think I'm hurting the baby), but my child is smarter than that. He/she will not entertain on demand. Oh well. I'll take what I can get.

People have asked if I'm showing yet. Week 16 belly pic is on the last post so I'll let you be the judge. In all honesty, I'm still wearing my regular, pre-pregnancy jeans and shirts and scrubs. Although as of last week, I'm supposed to be gaining at least a pound a week (YIKES!!). I did buy some maternity jeans and slipped 'em on yesterday - GREATEST INVENTION EVER! Girls, ever have a fat day? You need a pair of maternity jeans for your PMS-I'm-so-bloated-fat days in the back of your closet! I love 'em! Back to the original topic, though... I still look a little post-holiday season/beer belly. You've seen those college girls who've drank too much beer their freshman year and now have a pooch? That's me. I have strangers staring at my stomach trying to figure out "is she pregnant or letting herself go?" A girl at the gym last week got off the treadmill and actually had the nerve to stare at my stomach. I was ready to have a talk with her. I feel like I need a T-shirt (at least for the gym) that says, "I'm pregnant, not just letting myself go" to limit the inquisitive minds of the people I see at Aspen on a day-to-day basis who really don't know what to think of me.

That's all for now. One day my baby and I will POP and it will be clear that I am with child. Until then, I'll just keep running (oh yes, I am RUNNING still!) and pretending I'm trying to work off my pooch. :)

Zachary

My wonderful friend, Jenn, is full of fun ideas, great advice, and lots of laughs. She texted me Sunday to suggest a pee-on test that predicts the gender of your baby (supposedly with 90% accuracy...it worked for her!). So of course Jake and I bought the test, but it said to wait for your first morning pee. Monday morning I wake up to go to work and Jake insisted on getting up with me to see the results with me. 5am, people....my husband is NOT a morning guy. But he was bright eyed and bushy tailed and ready for the results! After 10 minutes of waiting, we looked at the bottle......BOY. Boy???? I was SO sure it was a girl - probably because I've been dreaming of a girl since I found out I was pregnant. Jake looked at Max (the boy cat) and said, "We're gonna out number the girls, Max!! It's a boy!!"

For those of you that know me, you know that I'm kind of a girlie-girl. Granted, Julianna and I could sling mud with the best of 'em when we were little, but we also liked our dolls. And to this day, I can throw my hair up in a pony and work up a good sweat at the gym, but I like to have my hair and makeup done and look like I'm somewhat up with today's fashion. My initial reaction, which I said outloud, was, "I don't know a darn thing about raising a boy! You have to teach them how to throw a ball, how/were to pee without making a mess, how to be the Godly leader of the house, how to treat women kindly and with respect!"

So friends, I'm trying soooooo hard here to switch gears. In place of all the pink, frilly bows and flowered clothes I was looking at, I'm trying to switch my thoughts to baseball, football, ball of any kind, cute boy sweaters, shirts that say "Mama's boy"....something, ANYTHING of that nature. Don't get me wrong ...I am thrilled at the thought of a boy, it just isn't what I had expected. And we do still have the ultrasound in November (11th to be exact) to confirm those results so lets not jump to conclusions....riiiiight....

I called my Mom later to tell her and of course she was excited. I got the sweetest, most wonderful e-mail from her and asked her if I could share it with you. This letter is one I'll hold close to my heart, but I had secretly thought that she wanted a little girl too to dress up in bows and dresses. But interestingly enough, looks like God had prepared her heart in a different way:

"I have to tell you … you both called me this morning to tell me the news! I loved the excitement in your voice so much, Jake, that I didn’t have the heart to tell you Christy had already called. But I loved those phone calls! I think I told you both that my computer required a new password this morning, and I put in my nickname for the baby (before I talked to either one of you!). And I picked a boy name! Zachary! I don’t know why, and I still don’t know why, but I just now decided to look up the meaning, and it means “The Lord remembers.” How neat. The Lord remembers your faithfulness. The Lord remembers how much your dad and I struggled with infertility and He wanted to spare you that pain. The Lord remembers your commitment to serve him and bring up your children to love and serve him. The Lord remembers all your strengths and your shortcomings and He will provide you with the gifts you will need to raise this special little baby…boy or girl! The Lord remembers the faithfulness of so many generations of believers in our family, who have prayed for future generations…for your baby…before even you were born! How awesome is that! I know you will have a special name for this baby, so until we know the real name (or until you pick out your own favorite nickname…Jakester??), my own private little nickname will be Zachary. The Lord remembers. Love, Mom"

4am surprise!

Today I am 16 weeks and 4 days along in my pregnancy and this morning around 4am, I got a very pleasant surprise! I had gotten up to go to the bathroom and layed back down next to Jake with my stomach against his back and instantly felt the baby move! There were small movements (kicks, maybe?) four different times - it was the most amazing feeling and I knew, without a doubt, that it was the baby. Almost as if to say, "I know you're my daddy and I like being next to you" - it was so sweet! I don't think anything would've made it more perfect (except if it wasn't so darn early in the morning). So I layed there for the next hour hoping to feel it again, which I didn't. But I did feel it once during church again. People say it feels like gas. The times I've had gas, I've thought, "Oh, is that the baby?" but then a fart quickly makes me realize that no, that was just gas. But today...it was so clear to me that it was the baby. How AWESOME! I can't wait for Jake to be able to feel it!!

Here's an illustration for a baby at 16 weeks. For all you mamas out there waiting to feel the baby move, it will be the most precious thing you've ever felt and your heart will swell with love in a way that you didn't know was possible!!



And this is a picture I just LOVE and want to try and re-create with my baby:

Thank the good Lord for Julie!

If one more person says one more thing to me about the H1N1 shot, I'm gonna bite their head off. I have never been so sick of talking about the flu, a vaccine, or anything related to it more than I am right now. My dear Mother, whom I love and cherish, called to talk again about me getting the shot and I nearly burst into tears and hung up on her. Mom, you just caught me at a bad time.

Let me just say it. I don't know what I'm going to do about getting the H1N1 shot. I KNOW I'm in the high risk category both with my job and with being pregnant, but I have not decided yet what I'm going to do. I talked with my OB about it today and had pretty much decided not to get it and then I get the call from Mom about women in their third trimester being admitted to ICU on Bipap machines for breathing difficulties, etc. So I called Jake, crying. Have I mentioned recently how much I love him? Oh gosh, what a rock he's been! He said "I'm behind you no matter what you decide and we'll love that baby no matter what" - exactly what I needed to hear. If I worked in a 4x4 cubicle all day then I'd be fine with my decision to not get it. But I work in the ER, I'm faced with sick people every day I work AND I'm pregnant - that's the only reason I'm considering this shot.

And then my sweet friend, Julie, calls to talk about the shot....watch out Jules, I'm shootin' on all 9 cylinders.....whatever that means. But she calmed me down and said "If you're dead set against getting it then don't, no one has to know what you decided." Oh Jules. She got me back to thinking that maybe it wouldn't be so bad if I didn't get it and if I get the flu, I stay home and nurse myself bad to health and move on. It's just the flu, right? It's so nice to hear your family and friends take your side, realize how stressed you are about a certain topic and just say, "We'll back you no matter what."

I'd like to give a little shout out to Jake and Julie...and you too, Mom, for standing behind whatever decision I make. I really do appreciate it. I digress.

On a side note, we say goodbye to Stephanie Wadle tonight as she goes to travel nursing for a few months. Steph, you're one of my very best friends and I love you more than you know. We will ALL miss this girl - the one who makes us all laugh, who can talk about her poop (and yours) without batting an eye, and who stands up for what she believes in at all costs. I love her.

I'll be adding pictures from the goodbye party later, so come back and view those!




Here's week 16! See the bump!??

Best news.....EVER!

I found out last week that one of my best friends is pregnant....and only 6 weeks behind me! Unfortunately, I can't give any more information about that 'cause she and her hubby are in the process of telling people. Let me just say, it was some of the best news I've ever heard! Finding out I was pregnant was more a feeling of disbelief than good news so now that my pregnancy has finally hit me, her news was the most wonderful thing! Everyone longs to be pregnant with their bestie. Our husbands have already talked - will they date or be best friends? Is it too early to arrange a marriage? ;) Ha!

Next on topic....my uterus! Holy uterus! I felt for the first time last night how HARD my uterus is. And now when I lay flat, my stomach no longer concaves...it's protruding. Thankfully I can still see my hip bones, but I'm realizing quickly that this stomach is one day going to take me over! I'll be 16 weeks on Wednesday and although my OB told me I probably won't feel anything until week 20, I frequently press my hands on my stomach and beg that baby to kick me. I just want to feel SOMETHING, a flutter, anything! I'm sure when it finally happens, I'll think it was just gas. I just hope it doesn't happen in a patient's room or when I'm around strangers 'cause you better believe I'm gonna want to tell the closest person to me...."I JUST FELT MY BABY MOVE FOR THE FIRST TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I just can't wait!

Jake and I talked names last night. For those of you who know us, know we've been discussing names for YEARS. Jake desperately wants to find out the sex of the baby (in 4 weeks!!!!) and pretty much has refused to talk names until then. I finally got him narrowed down on our boy list, which makes me feel better BUT the girl list, which I had thought we were doing better on, got completely re-vamped yesterday and now I'm feeling stressed about a girl name. I like a few that he really likes, but he pretty much said no to the girl name I've been dreaming about for a couple years now. Some of the girl names are just slightly different from the norm and I always cringe when a friend or family member goes "oh I don't like that." Not everyone will like the name we choose, I realize this, but I secretly desire a name that everyone says, "I love that!"

Well, that's all for now. I'm headed to the gym and going to attempt a good run and lift some weights. My biggest obstacle in working out is getting hungry mid workout. I'll have a great run but then I'm too starving to lift. It seems to be either one or the other. We'll see how today goes.

A great day!

All you nurses out there will appreciate this. Have you ever had a day at work where you come home and think "THAT is why I became a nurse!" or "I just learned the most amazing things today!" Because of the wonderful HIPPA laws, I can't give you any specifics about my very critical patient yesterday except to say that the patient's heart had gone into Ventricular Fibrillation and EMS had defibrillated him once and suddenly we were doing it too. We found out later that the patient had had a large clot in his LAD that had thrown several smaller clots lateral to the first and the right side of his heart had compensated to provide the left side of the heart with blood. We've started doing hypothermic treatment after CPR to protect the brain from injury since it was without oxygen for a period of time too. Wow. This patient was so lucky to be alive. Initially it took a team of about 15 to be able to sedate the patient and in the two hours the patient was there, there were always 2-3 nurses in the room a at least one doctor. Probably one of the most critical cardiac patients I've had. I realize as I write this that nothing I've written seems too impressive but since I can't give specifics, I can't give you a full picture.

Within the past two weeks, I've dealt with some of the most critically ill patients I've ever layed a hand on (including a dissecting AAA with a systolic BP of 40)! Thankfully I try to start my days praying in the car before I go in to work - praying for everything from patience, humility, kindness and gentleness to saying "Lord, just let me be a blessing somehow today." When I take a second to step back, I am amazed at what I have learned in my past two years at Mercy and then God humbles me when I realize how much I. do. not. know. There is a huge part of me that wants to know it all....I even threw the idea of going back to med school at Jake last night. I don't think I'm any where near smart enough for med school, but I just want to soak up this stuff like a sponge.

I also wonder who can question evolution versus creation when dealing with medicine and the human body. People! The human body, it's capabilities, and it's complexities are no accident.

...the Lord God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the became a living being.....the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to to the man." (Genesis 2:7 and 21-23)

The Lord brought me forth as the first of his works, before his deeds of old; I was appointed from eternity, from the beginning, before the world began. When there were no oceans, I was given birth, when there were no springs abounding with water; before the mountains were settled in place, before the hills, I was given birth, before he made the earth or its fields or any of the dust of the world. I was there when he set the heavens in place, when he marked out the horizon on the face of the deep, when he established the clouds above and fixed securely the fountains of the deep, when he gave the sea its boundary so the waters would not overstep his command, and when he marked out the foundations of the earth. Then I was the craftsman at his side. I was filled with delight day after day, rejoicing always in his presence, rejoicing in his whole world and delighting in mankind." Proverbs 7: 22-31

Birthday bash weekend

It's been so long since I've updated this thing, but I hate to blog just to blog and not have anything good to say. A few weeks ago Jake and I put together the crib - check out the pictures below. That's about all we've done with the nursery so there is still much to do...and buy!

Saturday was my birthday and Kellee's first homecoming! Jake and I got to Iowa City Friday and had a wonderful weekend filled with lots of family. My grandparents were there, cousins Linda and Kenny, aunt Cindy, cousin Gene, uncle James and his girlfriend Amanda, and my parents and sister. Mom's house was just as full as Christmas, minus a few bodies. It was so great to see Linda and Kenny since we don't get to see them nearly as often as we'd like, although now I realize we didn't even get pictures with them! Jake and I got to see his parents too since they live just down the street from my parents and Jake even got a few extra hours with them Friday afternoon (what a great excuse to get out of all the hussle and bussle of Mom's house when it's full!).

Saturday was spent eating, opening presents, eating, doing Kellee's hair and makeup, eating, taking Kell to a friends house for group pictures and eating again. That's right - you can't help but eat several meals at Mom's house when Mom, Cindy, and Gramma have cooked such wonderful food!! Kellee looked way too grown up - definitely the most beautiful girl, with the most beautiful dress! I really couldn't believe how grown up she looked. It is kind of funny, though to look at her and realize how much we really do look alike the older she gets.

I have yet to post any baby belly pictures on here. I know, I know, I've heard your requests for some baby belly pics, but the belly is there one day and gone the next! We took a "week 13" baby belly picture and were both amazed at how...THERE it was! Welp, next morning that belly was gone. I've found that the size of the baby belly fluctuates greatly with how much I've eaten and pooped that day. Really. Not kidding. So, until the baby belly looks a little more baby than beer belly, I'll hold off on posting pictures for your sake. :) Also, I've learned after this weekend too to not wear too loose of clothing (see Kellee's homecoming picture for example) - it makes me look waaaay bigger than I am. Honestly, people laugh at what I consider a baby belly.

So, without further waiting, enjoy some pictures...I'll try to be better about posting!

Needless to say, Max and Jamis weren't really thrilled about being in the picture. Here's us in the middle of putting together the crib.



Here's the finished product!



And here are the homecoming pictures! Jake and Kellee...what did they ever do without eachother? I can't imagine a brother and sister-in-law having a better relationship than these two. It's so sweet!


The whole family:


Kellee and Mikey - her date and boyfriend! :)



And finally, just Kellee...so you get the full effect of the hair, dress AND shoes!