Sweet Briar is 3 months old as of yesterday!! This girl is a DREAM. She weighs 12 pounds, 8 ounces and is smiling, cooing, trying to blow bubbles and rolled from tummy to back today. She loves her Mama and loves to nurse...in fact, she refused a bottle for quite some time. Nama came to take care of her while I started back to work and finally got her to take a bottle.
Mama's first week back to work was full of tears (for me) but it felt okay to get in the swing of things. I sure did miss my girl, though. 20-30 minutes after work just isn't enough time with her and I find myself rocking her longer than I need to at night.
Briar has been sleeping 12 hours at night for quite some time now, maybe 3 weeks? which makes her the best baby in the world. 😉 She eats every three hours and we're just getting the hang of a regular nap schedule. Going to the gym seems to throw a wrench in nap times so I've been running on the treadmill in the basement a few times a week on my days off before anyone else is awake.
Another bit of change around here is that I'm leaving the Emergency Room. I'm so sad to be leaving but there isn't room for growth for me there, not that there will be at my new job in PACU, but it feels like it's time to move on based on some of the decisions of administration in the ER. I've cried many tears over this decision and had many co-workers and physicians reach out to me which means the world. These people have been my second family for 11 years. We have coded, trauma'd, rejoiced, and cried together and I can't imagine loving a group of people more than I do this team. I'm staying PRN and I'm hopeful that some day maybe there will be an opening for me to return back if circumstances are favorable.
That's all for now! Next up, CHRISTMAS!!
Monday, November 19, 2018
Sunday, September 30, 2018
Briar's birth story
The wee morning hours of August 17th, 2018 I had been up a few times in the night not really feeling well. But this wasn't abnormal for me. I'd woken up multiple times a night the past 2-3 weeks feeling "off" and wondering if I was in labor. Of course the morning of the 17th I remained hopeful as I had every other time I'd felt that way.
By 7am I knew this was the day. We were all awake, Jake getting ready to take Silas to KTC (I'd had him scheduled in case I was in labor and it was the last day of summer camp for him so he was really wanting to go). I asked Jake what he had planned that day and told him not to go far, I thought this was the day. I'd had an aching abdomen but again, that wasn't abnormal as I'd had it several times before. I starting throwing toiletries in my overnight bag because I knew, inevitably, that we'd be headed in...I just wasn't sure when.
Very quickly my contractions progressed to where they were uncomfortable. On one hand, I wanted to labor at home as long as I could, on the other hand I'd been told multiple times not to wait to come in when I was in labor as they anticipated that this delivery could be fast since I'd only labored with Stella an hour and a half.
Jake returned from taking Silas to KTC, looked at me and started packing up the car. He knew that's where we were headed, even if I was stubbornly thinking I could just wait it out.
I texted my Mom around 10am telling her that we were headed in (I'd already been in communication with her that morning as she was our designated photographer for the birth) and she wrote back "coming!!" The drive to the hospital was somewhat intense with contractions getting stronger and me leaning my head back to breathe through them. This, of course, made Jake a nervous Nelly.
We arrived at the hospital at 11am (with Stella...Elliott was at a golf tournament so we thought it would be no big deal to bring her and have her go with my Dad when they got there. We had time, right?). 11:05 I was put into the EDOB where they check you, get vitals, start your chart, etc. Dr. Lange came in and checked me - I was 6cm dilated (I had been 5cm dilated at 70% effaced just two days prior at my 39 week checkup). "Move her to labor and delivery" she told the nurse. Jake immediately teared up.
Let me pause here and tell you about my emotional man. Jake is not a man that cries. I've seen him cry only two times in our 18 years together. But this guy broke down. Excitement? Fear? Disbelief? Probably all of it.
The nurse whisked me away to Labor and Delivery, just down the hall where I met Kelsey, my nurse. Cute, skinny, tanned Kelsey. I immediately thought, "great, I get the toned, thin nurse while I'm over here being as big as a whale" - I was irritated. But Kelsey proved to be opposite of all my selfish, insecure, judgmental thoughts. Hey, I never claimed to be a rational pregnant woman. Anyway, Kelsey was amazing. She was all the things an OB nurse should be and when all was said and done, Stella told her, "I feel like you're part of our family." She included the big kids and was just awesome.
Within 45 min or so of being moved to L&D, I was dilated 7-8cm and the contractions were getting painful. Tonya, my BFF, was there and she helped put counter-pressure on my low back while Jake stepped out to make phone calls. She was so encouraging and helped keep my mind off the inevitable. Love that woman. Ladies listen up. Get yourself a man like Jake and a BFF like Tonya.
So I texted Mom just before noon asking how soon they'd be here - they were 60 miles out. Uhhh...ok, not a big deal. Tonya can take Stella out if we get desperate. Jake can snap pictures. We can do this. After all, if anything has taught us to roll with the punches, it's been this pregnancy.
At around 12:40 or so I was at a 9 and VERY uncomfortable. I don't remember Stella witnessing all this, but I know she was still in the room at this point. I don't think she recognized what was happening. Mom and Dad got there at 12:52 or something close to that and Dad got Stella out right away. He was given instructions to feed her and get Silas. Okay, Dad's on a mission.
No sooner did he walk out of the room, Dr. Lange came in to break my water. Things were INTENSE by this point. Also -- too late for an epidural. I'd gone in with the mindset of "lets see if we can do this naturally and avoid the epidural cost". Okay well here we go, au natural!
Dr. Lange broke my water and within 4 minutes, Miss Briar Lou entered this world. She was bright-eyed and beautiful. A mini of her brother and sister.
There were some bleeding issues after delivery in which Dr. Lange had to retrieve a piece of placenta that was stuck to my uterus (I won't go into detail about that, but that was worse than the delivery). At one point she talked about taking me to the OR if the bleeding didn't stop but thankfully it did and we were able to enjoy our sweet new babe.
This day will be etched in my memory as one of the happiest days of my life. It went so quickly with the happiest of endings. We love you so much, Briar Lou!!
By 7am I knew this was the day. We were all awake, Jake getting ready to take Silas to KTC (I'd had him scheduled in case I was in labor and it was the last day of summer camp for him so he was really wanting to go). I asked Jake what he had planned that day and told him not to go far, I thought this was the day. I'd had an aching abdomen but again, that wasn't abnormal as I'd had it several times before. I starting throwing toiletries in my overnight bag because I knew, inevitably, that we'd be headed in...I just wasn't sure when.
Very quickly my contractions progressed to where they were uncomfortable. On one hand, I wanted to labor at home as long as I could, on the other hand I'd been told multiple times not to wait to come in when I was in labor as they anticipated that this delivery could be fast since I'd only labored with Stella an hour and a half.
Jake returned from taking Silas to KTC, looked at me and started packing up the car. He knew that's where we were headed, even if I was stubbornly thinking I could just wait it out.
I texted my Mom around 10am telling her that we were headed in (I'd already been in communication with her that morning as she was our designated photographer for the birth) and she wrote back "coming!!" The drive to the hospital was somewhat intense with contractions getting stronger and me leaning my head back to breathe through them. This, of course, made Jake a nervous Nelly.
We arrived at the hospital at 11am (with Stella...Elliott was at a golf tournament so we thought it would be no big deal to bring her and have her go with my Dad when they got there. We had time, right?). 11:05 I was put into the EDOB where they check you, get vitals, start your chart, etc. Dr. Lange came in and checked me - I was 6cm dilated (I had been 5cm dilated at 70% effaced just two days prior at my 39 week checkup). "Move her to labor and delivery" she told the nurse. Jake immediately teared up.
Let me pause here and tell you about my emotional man. Jake is not a man that cries. I've seen him cry only two times in our 18 years together. But this guy broke down. Excitement? Fear? Disbelief? Probably all of it.
The nurse whisked me away to Labor and Delivery, just down the hall where I met Kelsey, my nurse. Cute, skinny, tanned Kelsey. I immediately thought, "great, I get the toned, thin nurse while I'm over here being as big as a whale" - I was irritated. But Kelsey proved to be opposite of all my selfish, insecure, judgmental thoughts. Hey, I never claimed to be a rational pregnant woman. Anyway, Kelsey was amazing. She was all the things an OB nurse should be and when all was said and done, Stella told her, "I feel like you're part of our family." She included the big kids and was just awesome.
Within 45 min or so of being moved to L&D, I was dilated 7-8cm and the contractions were getting painful. Tonya, my BFF, was there and she helped put counter-pressure on my low back while Jake stepped out to make phone calls. She was so encouraging and helped keep my mind off the inevitable. Love that woman. Ladies listen up. Get yourself a man like Jake and a BFF like Tonya.
So I texted Mom just before noon asking how soon they'd be here - they were 60 miles out. Uhhh...ok, not a big deal. Tonya can take Stella out if we get desperate. Jake can snap pictures. We can do this. After all, if anything has taught us to roll with the punches, it's been this pregnancy.
At around 12:40 or so I was at a 9 and VERY uncomfortable. I don't remember Stella witnessing all this, but I know she was still in the room at this point. I don't think she recognized what was happening. Mom and Dad got there at 12:52 or something close to that and Dad got Stella out right away. He was given instructions to feed her and get Silas. Okay, Dad's on a mission.
No sooner did he walk out of the room, Dr. Lange came in to break my water. Things were INTENSE by this point. Also -- too late for an epidural. I'd gone in with the mindset of "lets see if we can do this naturally and avoid the epidural cost". Okay well here we go, au natural!
Dr. Lange broke my water and within 4 minutes, Miss Briar Lou entered this world. She was bright-eyed and beautiful. A mini of her brother and sister.
There were some bleeding issues after delivery in which Dr. Lange had to retrieve a piece of placenta that was stuck to my uterus (I won't go into detail about that, but that was worse than the delivery). At one point she talked about taking me to the OR if the bleeding didn't stop but thankfully it did and we were able to enjoy our sweet new babe.
This day will be etched in my memory as one of the happiest days of my life. It went so quickly with the happiest of endings. We love you so much, Briar Lou!!
Saturday, September 29, 2018
It's been a while...
Wow. I cannot believe it's been 3.5 years since I've last blogged. Do people still blog? I'm sure there are new, fancier ways of blogging than what I'm doing now so I'll have to look into that. But for now, I might just need to catch you up.
Silas is now 8.5 (what!?!? How did that even happen??) and that sassiness I was talking about in my last blog? It's still alive and well. Insert palm-to-face emoji. He loves baseball - Cubs baseball - and playing, any position. It has been so FUN to watch him play. And he is good...like really good. Or maybe the other players were just really bad. Either way, he understands the game and had a great summer playing with his best friend on his team. He's in 3rd grade and so far has really enjoyed his teacher, Miss Kessel.
Stella just celebrated her 5th birthday. Oh, what an absolute JOY she is. She is exactly what I dreamed of having in a daughter. I knew I was meant to mother a girl...I could feel it in my bones. She is sweet, has the most wonderful heart that is so genuine and kind (except when it comes to her brother...then "it's on like big-ton-shawn"...except the real expression is "it's on like Blake Shelton") and she is still a Mama's girl. My heart swoons when she asks to cuddle. Stella is in preschool and loves all things crafty, coloring and creating.
And now for the biggest update of all....
-----Insert drum roll please----
3:08pm, August 17th 2018 brought us the sweetest surprise of our lives. Briar Lou. 8 pounds, 10 ounces and 20 inches of squish and goodness. So much goodness.
Let me back up and explain the surprise aspect of this. December 2017 I was maaaaybe a day late for my period. I'd had a few months of very irregular periods, which was abnormal for me, so it wasn't unlike me to be taking pregnancy tests, even though I was on birth control. Well you guessed it, this test was positive. Now let me tell you that 2017 had been easily the hardest year of our married lives. Jake had been without a job for all but five months in 2017 so when I found out I was pregnant, I cried. I sobbed. How could God do this to us? He knew our situation...how could this be part of His plan at this point in our lives? My faith was tested a lot in 2017 but this was the icing on the cake.
Fast forward to August 2018. I went into the delivery room still thinking "I'm not ready for this, I can't believe this is happening." Briar's delivery (I'll get into the full birth story in another post) was fast, super fast. And the second that girl was placed on my chest, I knew I had to just trust that God knew what He was doing. And when those two big kids I spoke of earlier came in and saw her, my heart literally melted into a thousand pieces.
That first night with just her and Jake was magical. It gave Jake and I time to really, really wrap our minds and hearts over this expanding family of ours that we were so hesitant about. I bonded with her. I held her skin to skin. I smelled her - that intoxicating newborn scent - and I looked into her eyes.
Here we are, six weeks in as a family of 5 and let me tell you, it's pretty awesome. Briar is a dream, an absolute DREAM. Since her fifth day of life she has slept at night, only waking once to eat. How does that even happen? She even slept a whole 10 hours her fifth week of life! She is just starting to coo and really hams up a smile, especially for Mommy. I love her fiercely. Briar, if you are ever reading this, please know that while you weren't planned, you were intended by God. God had bigger plans for our lives than we could (or can) see. We are immensely thankful for you and love you more than you can ever imagine.
So, I think that catches up the main points of our family. Ha! Stay tuned for Briar's birth story...
Silas is now 8.5 (what!?!? How did that even happen??) and that sassiness I was talking about in my last blog? It's still alive and well. Insert palm-to-face emoji. He loves baseball - Cubs baseball - and playing, any position. It has been so FUN to watch him play. And he is good...like really good. Or maybe the other players were just really bad. Either way, he understands the game and had a great summer playing with his best friend on his team. He's in 3rd grade and so far has really enjoyed his teacher, Miss Kessel.
Stella just celebrated her 5th birthday. Oh, what an absolute JOY she is. She is exactly what I dreamed of having in a daughter. I knew I was meant to mother a girl...I could feel it in my bones. She is sweet, has the most wonderful heart that is so genuine and kind (except when it comes to her brother...then "it's on like big-ton-shawn"...except the real expression is "it's on like Blake Shelton") and she is still a Mama's girl. My heart swoons when she asks to cuddle. Stella is in preschool and loves all things crafty, coloring and creating.
And now for the biggest update of all....
-----Insert drum roll please----
3:08pm, August 17th 2018 brought us the sweetest surprise of our lives. Briar Lou. 8 pounds, 10 ounces and 20 inches of squish and goodness. So much goodness.
Let me back up and explain the surprise aspect of this. December 2017 I was maaaaybe a day late for my period. I'd had a few months of very irregular periods, which was abnormal for me, so it wasn't unlike me to be taking pregnancy tests, even though I was on birth control. Well you guessed it, this test was positive. Now let me tell you that 2017 had been easily the hardest year of our married lives. Jake had been without a job for all but five months in 2017 so when I found out I was pregnant, I cried. I sobbed. How could God do this to us? He knew our situation...how could this be part of His plan at this point in our lives? My faith was tested a lot in 2017 but this was the icing on the cake.
Fast forward to August 2018. I went into the delivery room still thinking "I'm not ready for this, I can't believe this is happening." Briar's delivery (I'll get into the full birth story in another post) was fast, super fast. And the second that girl was placed on my chest, I knew I had to just trust that God knew what He was doing. And when those two big kids I spoke of earlier came in and saw her, my heart literally melted into a thousand pieces.
That first night with just her and Jake was magical. It gave Jake and I time to really, really wrap our minds and hearts over this expanding family of ours that we were so hesitant about. I bonded with her. I held her skin to skin. I smelled her - that intoxicating newborn scent - and I looked into her eyes.
Here we are, six weeks in as a family of 5 and let me tell you, it's pretty awesome. Briar is a dream, an absolute DREAM. Since her fifth day of life she has slept at night, only waking once to eat. How does that even happen? She even slept a whole 10 hours her fifth week of life! She is just starting to coo and really hams up a smile, especially for Mommy. I love her fiercely. Briar, if you are ever reading this, please know that while you weren't planned, you were intended by God. God had bigger plans for our lives than we could (or can) see. We are immensely thankful for you and love you more than you can ever imagine.
So, I think that catches up the main points of our family. Ha! Stay tuned for Briar's birth story...
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