Mothering Mission

I have been doing a fabulous Bible study - it's Beth Moore's "Breaking Free" with a few girls from work. This study is awesome, powerful, and challenges me in such a neat way.

This past week we've been focusing on family history. The first few days we were to examine our grandparent's and parent's lives and look at their influence on us. I know for some, this was really hard as it brought up a lot of very difficult memories and exposed some very raw emotions. We went on to look at what we as individuals have learned or taken from our grandparents and parents and focused on areas of captivity, or things that hold us back from living the spirit-filled life Christ intended for us to have.

It's been during this week that I have been re-challenged as a parent. We are to look at our areas of bondage and how they will influence our children. Talk about a wake up call! Praise the Lord, I really don't have a lot of "baggage" from my family that has influenced me in a negative way but I do see areas that I personally need to work on and areas that I don't want to pass on to Silas.

A friend of mine posted a link on facebook today about making mothering our primary mission. My first and primary mission field should be my children. God tells us that children are his blessing to us (Psalm 127:3 says, "Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him"). And he places great importance on our teaching our children to love and serve him -- Deuteronomy 6:5-9 "Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates".

Sometimes I feel slightly guilty for not being more involved at work or not being on a committee for the department. I hear friends talk about going on to graduate school a feel slightly jealous, but know in my heart that I'm not willing to make that kind of a time commitment when Silas is so little. I never want to look back on my life and think, "Wow, I have a great career but I sure didn't get to spend as much time with my children and/or family as I wanted to" or ever feel like I was cheated from enjoying my children's childhood. Does this mean I think less of mothers that do go on to graduate school or get involved at work? Absolutely not! I admire their ability to balance everything. I just know that for myself, for my sanity and in order for me to make my children's lives my primary mission field, those things aren't for me.

In the Bible study we've been examining Exodus 20:5-6 which talk about God's punishment for idolizing things other than him to the third and fourth generation but God showing his love for a thousand generations for those who love him and keep his commandments. It's hard to think about my grandchildren and great-grandchildren, but I so desperately want to love God and serve him, knowing that he will show his love to my future generations.

A challenge for me and for my fellow friend mommies: Listen to Psalm 78:4-7: “We will . . . tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might, and the wonders he has done . . . that the next generation might know . . . so that they should set their hope in God.”