I am thankful

Today's clouds and cold got me in a crabby mood, even after a wonderful Thanksgiving break and an extended visit from my sweet sister. What's to feel crabby about? Who knows - the weather plus pregnancy hormones left me feeling weepy after I dropped my sister off at the airport {yes, she had a personal flight back to IC}. So in my desperation and through my tears {thankful Jake was out of the house}, I started praying and telling the Lord everything I was thankful for. I had a fantastic list going, and I want to try and remember some of the good ones because someday I'm going to look back on this and want to remember exactly what I was thankful for this year.

I am thankful for....


A Savior who abounds in grace, mercy, forgiveness and love, one who provides blessings every day, one with a sense of humor, one that brings peace to my heart when I need it the most, one who is powerful enough to move mountains and gentle enough to hold me in the palm of His hand;Jake, who kisses my tears away, who makes me smile when I think I can't, who knows EXACTLY the right words to say, who prays for our family, who sings off-key and makes up his own words, who makes me feel beautiful - always, who works harder than anyone I know to provide for our family and puts on a smile when he'd rather be doing something else, and who loves me inspite of my faults; this small wonder growing inside of me who kicks and moves and whom I am so deeply in love with before even meeting him; my parents who have set such a Godly example for us in generosity, integrity, in faith, in love, happiness and provision; my sister who is so genuinely kind, happy and beautiful in every way;Jake's parents who we continue to grow closer to each year and their roles in our lives; each one of our grandparents who continue to be a part of our lives; our cousins, aunts and uncles; our friends and family who are so excited for Baby Soll; a beautiful place to call our home; Jamis and Max who bring such simple happiness and laughter; our cars that don't always work right but get us from point A to point B; our wonderful, supportive friends who pray for us and with us, who encourage us, who makes us laugh and warm our hearts and would do anything for us; each of jobs - they are challenging in their own ways but I am so thankful we have an income; our church - Valley feels like "home" to me; and our health and health of our loved ones.

Comfort over pride

So I know I've blogged about the comfort of maternity jeans, but I feel the need to say a bit more. I've had a fear that one of these weeks, I'm going to go put my scrub pants on and not be able to fit into them, so I decided to wear my first pair of doc scrub pants today - which are huge on me, but waaaaay more comfortable. I've really struggled with this. In all honesty, I've taken some pride in the fact that I can still wear my pre-pregnancy pants at the end of my 5th month of pregnancy. Today I realized that this is a little silly.... my bigger scrub pants and maternity pants might be a little big, but they are COMFORTABLE. And what's more important? Comfort or pride? I've decided comfort. And for the first time this week, I've realized that not all my pre-pregnancy shirts fit....bummer! I do kind of like wearing cute maternity shirts. :)

And here we are, week 21. Some of the girls at work still tell me it looks like I have to take a big poop while others say, "Oh, you're starting to show!" One of the chicas at work even felt the little man move on Wednesday. I just love it!

Let me take a second here to switch gears from baby to hubby. Jake's 28th birthday is tomorrow...it's so hard to believe I've known him for 10 years!!! I just want to give a shout out to my hunny and say HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! Jake is the most wonderful man. He is so caring, so FUN and so lighthearted. Jake, you have brought so much joy and laughter to my life and I am so very thankful that God brought us together so many years ago. Jake is my best friend, my lover....and now my baby daddy and I can't imagine anyone else better fit for any of those things! I love you, babe!

Watching the tummy

Today was the first time I thought to watch my stomach when I began to feel the baby moving. OH.MY.GOSH. It is the most bizarre thing to watch your stomach move and jump. When he kicked really hard, it was so amazing to watch that one little area jump!

My friend, Tonya, said a couple weeks ago that she missed being pregnant. I thought her comment was kind of strange, but now I realize that I'm going to miss feeling him move inside of me. The times when I lay down - to go to bed or just to feel him move - I anxiously wait for the kicks to begin. I think of this time as our playdates. Just us...me poking my stomach to get a reaction from him, him reacting when he feels like it. The ultrasounds I also think of as playdates, although I don't know that I'll be having another one of those any time soon...unless I can get Ashli to do it for me at work. :) Jake has really started to enjoy feeling him move too.

Speaking of Jake, we might have found a name for the baby!!! This is quite exciting for us since the topic had recently been one of frustration for me. It was a name I suggested a while ago that Jake had thought was a "black" name {whatever that is}. It happens to be a biblical name so I looked up where it was in the Bible and read that to him. He said, "I like it"...I think I mumbled a "whatever" under my breath because then Jake said, "No, I really like it. Lets do it"...with tears in his eyes! It was really sweet. Of course Jake doesn't want to tell anyone the name, he wants it to remain a secret. Which brings me to another pet peeve of mine.... :)

Why do people find out the sex of their baby and/or decide on a name but then keep it a secret??? I don't get it and yet this is what my husband wants to do! I know, I know, it's just because I hate surprises that this annoys me. I like to be in the know about these things! However, nearly all of my preggo friends aren't telling their name. Friends...do you honestly think I would steal your name? I, for one, would not. Whatever, it's another one of those things the parents get to do and I guess their decision should be respected. Let me know just say for the record that I am sorry Jake likes secrets and surprises. I will do my very best to keep this name under wraps for the next 19 weeks.....ugh....19 weeks.....

The opinionated preggo

Does it come as a shock to anyone that I am opinionated? Probably not. I am much like my father and have often said, "I am my father's child." However, pre-pregnancy I seem to have had somewhat of a filter. Mid-pregnancy I am fiesty and feel the need to voice my opinion.

So I've decided I'm going to write a book (or just a blog post, rather) entitled, "Things not to say to a pregnant woman"....and have received a couple suggestions from friends!

1) Don't ever tell a pregnant woman she's huge. She knows she's huge, but huge is beautiful when you're pregnant.
2) Please refrain from voicing YOUR opinion on the name the parents have chosen. God layed that name on their heart for whatever reason and to react with things such as, " (insert name here)???? Where'd you come up with that??"
3) Finding out if you're having a boy or girl is a surprise...whether it's at 20 weeks or when you've just had the baby. Please react with excitement no matter when the parents find out.
4) Don't tell me, "You need to put on weight for that baby." People, I eat. Any girlfriend of mine who has dined at a Mexican restaurant with me lately can tell you that I can put away chips, salsa and cheese dip with the best of 'em. Starving mommy = starving baby = nauseous mommy...so I DO eat!
5) Along with number 4, don't tell a preggo lady, "You need to stop gaining weight" - unless you are the OB, well okay, even if you are the OB, this comment is probably not appreciated. A friend of mine was hugely insulted when someone said this to her...rightfully so!
6) "Are you sure you aren't having twins?" - this is just another way of saying that the pregnant woman looks huge.

That's all I can come up with now, but it feels good to vent. :) Some of you might be thinking,h "good golly, she is SASSY!" - while I do admit that sometimes I am, none of these blog enteries are written with the least amount of anger or fury that they may come across as containing.

Half-way there!!

So here we are... week 20 begins Wednesday, which marks the half-way point! Yay!! It really does seem like time has flown and I'm sure with the holidays, time will go even faster. In January Kellee has a few dance competitions (I think both in DM?) that I'm hoping to go to and hopefully another GIRLS WEEKEND with my college ladies. February might drag, although that will be a month of final preparation for baby and then waiting in March.... where o where does the time go? I know, many of you are saying, "Just wait 'til baby gets here!"

So many have asked about names. Ugh! For the past two-three years, I have pestered my dear husband with the "lets name our baby" game. Even up until a couple weeks ago, I still made him play my game. Funny, but now that we have boy names to focus on, my desire to find the perfect name has diminished....for now. The thought of picking out a name (or two or three) to choose from has become a daughting task, and somewhat overwhelming. Who is this girl, one might ask. I don't know. Call me crazy, but I'm more into picking out bedding and paint than picking a name.

My Mom and I had a chance to shop this past weekend, as well as Jake and his Mom. Can I just say "WOW!" My husband bought more for the baby than I did!! I asked him to give me a limit...little did I know that he'd spend half of my limit! ;) We both bought some darling outfits - our rule was nothing that wasn't on sale. Little "Zachary" or "JJ" (Jake Junior) will be sylin' in Ralph Lauren, Juicy Couture, and Puma. I know, it sounds ridiculous, but we really got GREAT deals....I'm talkin' $8 here, friends! I can't pass that up - and neither can my husband evidentally! :)

So I leave you with a picture of me at just about 20 weeks. HALF WAY THERE!!!

IT'S A BOY!

Well friends, today was the big ultrasound. We had a wonderful ultrasound tech (shoot, I didn't catch her name!) who was so friendly and generous in giving us pictures. She asked us if we wanted to know what we were having so she started with that first thing. She moved that magical wand right down to the sweet spot and there he was.....my boy in all his glory....legs spread! In all 35-40 minutes of the ultrasound, that boy had his legs spread wide open the entire time.... no doubt a little Jakester. :) Ha! He did wonderful - he moved all around so we got to see his heart chambers, his kidneys, all five fingers on each hand, his feet, his profile...everything! The only time he didn't cooperate was when she was trying to get a 3D picture of his face - he loved having those little hands up there. We even got to see him laying his head on my placenta. The tech said she'd never seen such a show off baby, one that was so cooperative (that part he gets from me). :) She also said he was easy to see because I was so thin...ha! I could've hugged her right at that moment. What 5 month pregnant woman doesn't LOVE those compliments?

Anyway, we are overjoyed. This has come as quite a shock to many of my friends who all thought I was having a girl. My heart is content and happy. I still looked at sweet little girl clothes at Von Maur (yes, I headed there right after the ultrasound), but having a boy will be so fun. My Mom was in the middle of her flight when we called so we called my Dad first - he was so excited. I guess he had a feeling it was a boy, but was still happy with the news. Kellee screamed (typical teenage girl!). I called my family, Jake called his... everyone is thrilled. Thank you to everyone for your excitement!

Here are a few pictures from our exciting day!





Here I am getting ready to go in to our appointment....wearing my first maternity outfit! Bump is still fairly small, but definitely there. Whoever invented maternity jeans is GENIUS! They're so comfy!




And this is Jake - the excitement of having a boy written all over his face! If you look closely, you can see our baby's little butt with legs spread....and his manhood. :)





The two of us...so excited!

Night before

So here I am, the night before we find out what we're having. I feel the need to first clarify my previous entry. Tonya, a lovely friend from work, apologized and felt HORRIBLE for having offended me in telling me she thought I should wait and not find out the sex. Well I then felt horrible because I really was in no way offended. I love hearing my friends' stories about their big surprises. I really do not get offended that easily. Rest assured Tonya, I wasn't upset! :) My feeling about finding out is kind of like telling people the name you choose. I'm always nervous when telling people the names we like for fear of them reacting badly. Our choice will not please everyone, but it's our choice. Enough said about that.

So I talked to one of our techs, Singh, today because he asked what I wanted. Yes, you all know I've been wanting a girl. But finally, for the first time, I feel at such a peace and such an excitement about EITHER gender. What scares me is thinking long term about what I'm responsible for teaching a boy or teaching a girl, what they will face growing up being that gender, and knowing what society will expect from them because they are that gender. But... I finally feel excited for whatever the baby ends up being. I never prayed specifically to be at peace with both genders, but God in His infinite wisdom knew my heart and gave me a wonderful peace. Jake on the other hand is still hoping for a boy. :)

I'll update tomorrow with the big news!

Hellooo month 5!!!

Yep, that's right. I am 5 months pregnant! Wow, what a great feeling! I feel like reaching month 5 is a HUGE accomplishment, although I'm not sure why and I'm not sure what I've accomplished. I think this babe is the one accomplishing things! As I've mentioned, my child is active and finally last night, Jake was able to put his hands on my tummy and feel the small little kicks and/or punches. I know many of you might say, "no, it's too early for him to feel it" but I'm tellin' ya...he felt it! We're meeting up with my Mom this weekend in Minnesota so I'll have her feel it too and report back. Maybe then you'll believe me a little more if I have more than one person who can feel it. ;)

This week is also a big milestone in that we found if Baby Soll is a boy or girl through ultrasound!!! Oh man, I can hardly stand it. We weren't supposed to find out 'til the 11th, but I bumped up my appointment so we'd know before we went to the Mall of America so I could shop for baby there! I think I've been a pretty patient person so far, taking each week in stride and not feeling the need to rush through this pregnancy. But I have not been at all patient this past week as we anticipate finding out what the baby is!!

Let me take a minute here to vent a little...or more, state my opinion. Nearly every person asks if we're going to find out what it is. I joyfully say, "Yes, and I can't wait!" It seems like nearly every person that asks then feels the need to say, "Oh, you shouldn't find out...it's one of life's few surprises, the best surprise you'll ever get." Friends and family, I am aware of this. But every one that knows me well, knows that I.hate.surprises. I hate 'em. Maybe it's that "control" side of me that I can't let go of. Who knows. But here's the thing, Jake and I have decided that we want to know what we're having. So please let us have our cake and eat it too. We know it's "one of life's few surprises" and we're choosing to opt out on the surprise, at least with this child. If you don't to know what I'm having, we won't tell you. But please let us enjoy the excitement of finding out. I digress.



Yesterday was Halloween. I have a few cute pictures of the kids (the cats) that I want to share. We put Jamis in her "fancy collar" that is very Halloweenish and even has a pumpkin that lights up. We got a picture of the Jamis showing off her "spooky Halloween eyes" - enjoy!







And here's sweet Max...this boy takes after me in that he always seems to be cold. He loves to get in the dryer after it's finished while I'm folding clothes and they're warm, lay by the heat register (which is what he's doing in the picture) or snuggle up in the mornings for a "rub down" which consists of us petting him all over and rubbing his belly. He is quite the lover.






And finally, here's a week 18 picture. I think I look like I've "popped" in my scrubs (scrub pants and T-shirt) but when I put on anything else, it's hard to tell if I'm chubby or pregnant. Some people say, "Wow, you're finally just starting to show!" and others say, "You're pregnant?? I can't even tell!" Well yes, this 7 pound weight gain has gone somewhere...