Telling friends

Wow, this past week has been a whirlwind! Jake and I decided just to tell a few close friends and co-workers...well that eventually spreads to anyone and everyone we've ever met! Okay, not quite, but it's been way more people than we had originally planned. Good news like this just can't be kept quiet!

We have our first ultrasound scheduled for August 10th - I've read that the baby will be about the size of a lima bean and we'll be able to see the heartbeat! Then on August 20th I go to Iowa City for Kellee's first day of high school (can you believe it!???) and I'm getting together with Kerianne, Marcie, Keri, Robin and Tara. I'm planning on telling the girls then - I'll be about 8, almost 9 weeks. And THEN we'll tell everyone. I still feel great. No nausea, no extreme fatigue, my boobs aren't sore... wow, this is great!

I talked to Chad, one of the doctors are work yesterday (yes, I had to tell him) and he said his wife miscarried at 8 and 12 weeks. That got me nervous, especially because we've told so many people. I thought about it a lot yesterday and finally this morning I decided to pray and give it up to God. I prayed that He would give me a peace about this pregnancy so that I could enjoy this time of feel good, dreaming about the baby, looking at furniture, etc. I have the rest of my child's life to worry about them falling, who they're hanging out with, when they're behind the wheel, who they're marrying, and all that jazz. I want this time to be about the joy we're experiencing, enjoy telling our family and friends and just soak it all up. I talked to Misty today and she said something along the lines of "God has this pregnancy all written out so there's no need worry when it's all in His hands." How true. He knows how this pregnancy will go, how it will ultimately end and what I will face. Why worry myself when He has it all planned out? Wasn't HIS will that I desired in the first place?

Gramma sent me a sweet letter tonight about how she remembers people being pregnant when she was growing up and what they called it. Here's the letter:
I was thinking today of terms they used to use when you were pregnant. That word was never used!!! You might be "in the family way" or "expecting" or even have "one in the oven" !!! but it wasn't openly discussed. When my mom was expecting Larry, I was 6 yrs. old and they didn't even tell me!!! She went to the hospital and brought him home and I was mad and didn't even like him!! I was jealous, and said " he is too red & fat! " I soon got over that, but it hurt to not be the baby any more!! But you really didn't know for sure you were pregnant until you had missed 2 periods. There was no tests you could take even at the dr. office. So times certainly have changed. My first clue was a low back ache, even by the time I had missed the first period. Even with James, Mom didn't believe me, and said you are probably going through the change of life ( I was 40 for heaven sake!!!) But by the time I would of been 1 month along, I had the familiar low back ache that I remembered from the other times. Oh my, it is sure an exciting time for you. It is only natural to worry a little, but just remember God is in control. Jake will be so cute holding his own little one. He will be a wonderful daddy, with your dad as an example for him.
Just had to send you my thoughts. Love, & will keep you all in my daily prayers. Gramma

I wrote back to her and told her the terms we use now are "knocked up", "bun in the oven" and even "my eggo is preggo."


That's all for now. Can't wait for the ultrasound of that sweet baby!!



Here are a few pictures from my weekend with the family. This one is from the cousin's reunion. It's of me with my sweet cousins - the 3 pregnant girls! Alla is about 8 months, Anna is somewhere around 2, and I am 4 weeks.



And here's one of Mom, Kellee and I at the Shawn Johnson & Friends show.

Telling the family...

Have you ever seen a better video??

AWAKE.

Here's letter a wrote to Katie this morning about the night's events.

Hey Aunt Katie! - Wow. We didn't go to bed until after midnight (late for me!) and I couldn't fall asleep. Then I woke up at 2:30, thought about taking another test...decided just to pee. Then tossed and turned ALL NIGHT - every time I rolled over, I thought about being pregnant. And here I am, awake at 6:40am with no sleep. I don't know how to feel! I still feel the need to guard my emotions and not get too excited or let it sink in 'cause that's what I've been doing for 12 months! Especially because it's soooo early.

I keep wondering too, if I'm PMS-y. I got a couple zits, and usually at this time of month it's because my period is coming but it could also be from camping and not washing my face. My boobs aren't really sore - I asked Jake a few days ago if they look bigger (wishful thinking). He didn't think so but then commented on the girls two days ago looking a little more round and full. HALLELUJAH! DD here I come! :)

Well, I might try to go back to bed or just go to the gym. Thanks for being excited...I didn't know how you would feel since you've been trying forever too, but you are a true, genuine friend and your excitement was written all over your face last night and I felt it in your hug. That means so much to me. I wondered a couple weeks ago how I would feel when you told me you were pregnant since you were late and I can honestly say I felt no disappointment, I felt no resentment...it was pure hope and joy. I'm so glad. I know we have a sweet friendship that God has blessed us with and I am just so thankful for that.

Anyway, I hope you have a great day at work!!

Love,
Mama C

P.S. I took another test this morning - PREGNANT. :)



Here's a picture taken the morning after we found out I was pregnant!

What does that say?

I'M PREGNANT!!!!!!! That's right, I said it. I'M PREGNANT!!!!!! Okay, let me back up here. So today I had a few dizzy spells and decided to take a pregnancy test at work. The second pink line on the test was faint, but clearly there. "No way," I thought. I texted Jenn and she went crazy. She insisted (and I do mean insisted) that I take a digital test. Jake and I went to the grocery store tonight and bought a package of three digital tests.

I took one, waited a short time and it said "PREGNANT" (see attached picture). I ran upstairs to where my sweet husband was vacuuming for me (see ladies, trained before the baby even makes an enterance) and shoved the test in his face. He looked at it, looked at me, looked at the test, looked at me. Not too much was said on his part other than "oh my gosh" which got repeated maybe 1000 times over the course of the next 2 hours.





I called Jenn and told her she was going to be an aunt. Her reaction? "Shut up." She couldn't believe it. I had just received a card from her today telling me she and Colin were praying for us. It was such a sweet card. She said "each day in 'waiting' will SURELY make each day in 'holding' (that bundle) even more precious than you could have imagined!" I love that. She also gave me Proverbs 13:12 to pray over - "Hope deferred makes the heart sick...but when the desire comes, it is a tree of life."

So then it was time to tell Katie. We drove (flew) over to their house, but no one was home - they were at his parent's house in Altoona. Crap. 30 minute drive. Jake convinced me that we HAD to go tell them tonight. We can't keep big news like this from our dear friends. We walked up the door and just as we got inside, Katie said "are you pregnant?" I once again shoved the test in her face to show proof and she screamed and hugged me. I immediately started crying - where did that come from??

So then on the way home (it's now 11pm, friends), we called Marcie and Chris because this joyous news cannot wait. Mind you, I still have not missed my period...this is an early test. Marcie screamed and clapped (classic Marcie for those of you that know and love her like I do). They were thriled.

My parents and Kell come this weekend and I'm torn if we should tell them or not. I can't imagine not telling them, but when? Is it too early? My Mom and Kell are going FREAK OUT. Dad will smile, say congrats and give us both big hugs.

Oh man. Where do I begin to describe my emotions? I'm terrified that this was a false positive and I'm going to repeat the preggo test a few times. I'm also extremely overjoyed. God, you hear our prayers, you know the cry of our hearts and YOU answer. I had just gone for a walk Tuesday night and had a long prayer, a long convo with the Big Man. I told Him that His timing was perfect, that I was sure of. I felt at peace and prayed for continued peace, knowing that He is in control. Thank you dear, sweet Jesus for this baby. I am already in love with him or her. I've already begun praying for his/her future spouse even before he/she was conceived. I want to raise my child to honor You, Lord above else and serve You with the gifts and talents you give him/her.

A short(ened) trip to IC

I had some time off the second weekend in July so I decided to head to Iowa City to see the fam on Thursday. Took an ovulation test Thursday, negative. Took an ovulation test Friday, positive. Looks like I'll be headed back a day early. I called my Mom and told her I was leaving early, much to her disappointment. However, when I explained why I needed to get home she said, "Oh!! Well go now!!!" Ha! So now we're just at the waiting point...waiting to see if I get my period. I told Jake the other day that I'm so tired of living my life two weeks at a time - get your period, wait to weeks to ovulate. Ovulate, wait two weeks to get your period.

Jake surprised me when I got back and told me he was taking me somewhere. He had planned a little overnight getaway to Omaha. We ate dinner, walked around by the river and then on Sunday we went to the zoo. It was so great - such a nice surprise!

Katie is a week late for period and I can't help but feel EXTREMELEY excited at the possibility of her being pregnant!! She keeps telling herself she isn't and I'm trying not to act too excited around her but it's so hard. I would love for her to be pregnant! Katie is going to be such an excellent mommy.

I should start my period next weekend - when Mom, Kellee and all the cousins are here for the annual Cousin's Reunion. Which, by the way, we really need to think of a different name for that. :)



Here's a picture of Kellee and I hiking while I was home the second weekend of July.





I also got to see Jenn, Colin and sweet Archer for a little bit while I was in Iowa City too. Here's a picture of Jenn, Archer and me. Oh man, I miss this lady like crazy!!

Ouch! That pinched my cervix!

Well, friends...a few things. I've decided that this blog may not always be centered on the trials of trying to get pregnant. Afterall, I have SOOOO many blessings in my life that I am/we are tremendously thankful for. To focus solely on one bump in the road wouldn't be fair.

Having said that, I went today for an HSG x-ray. Basically, the doctor shoots dye through my cervix (cramping/pinching feeling - ouch!) to make sure there are no blockages. Good news - no blockages! Jake also got a thumbs up on his end of the deal, so now we just wait out this month to see if we can get pregnant. Dr. Young said the next step would be fertility meds. I looked at him and said, "Uh...no twins, Doc. I can't do twins." He just smiled said there wouldn't be more that twins. Excuse me? More than twins? Oh dear Lord, pleeeeeease let me get pregnant this month!


My friends have been AMAZING. You expect your family to be supportive and they truly have been too. You'd hope your friends would also be supportive and mine certainly have been. Jenn, Katie, SWadle, Jules, Ellen Sue...all texted or called me today to see how my appointment went. Several e-mail or texted to say they prayed for me today. One verse comes to mind when I think about my wonderful friends, husband and family: 1 Corinthians 1:4a "I always thank God for you." I have more blessings in my life that come in the form of people than I can even say. Jake, Mom, Dad, Jenn, Katie, SWadle, Julie, Ellen Sue - THANK YOU for your love, support and kindness.

That's all for now. Now we'll wait and see if the good Lord blesses my womb with a sweet baby this month. For fun, I've added a few pictures from the 4th of July since I thought this blog needed something visual!

Here's Jake and I in our cute lawn chairs that we got as wedding gifts from the Yeagers!






With my BF, Katie.

Calling all doctors...

Dated 7/2/09

So after 11 months of trying unsuccessfully to get my eggo preggo, we finally went to see Dr. Donald Young, a fertility specialist.
I had blood work done and Jake takes his "sample" in tomorrow to get tested. I'm trying to schedule an x-ray with dye ASAP to get the ball rolling otherwise I have to wait 'til August for the x-ray and September to get any meds.
I feel some relief in being able to talk with the doctor. I finally told Mom and Dad this past weekend - that was hard. I had such a heavy heart in keeping that from them, but wanted the element of surprise when we told them we were having a baby. I'm almost embarrassed that this is such an issue, but I'm not sure why.
Money is very tight right now and I'm afraid of the cost - I just need to check with the insurance company.

At peace

Dated 5/19/09

So here we are in May and my eggo is still not preggo...that I know of. I should start Saturday and I definitely feel PMS-y.
Jenn Kimble has been AMAZING!!! So supportive in texting/calling and in prayer.
My heart feels content and at peace, knowing God is in control and yet my desire for Jake and I to have a baby grows stronger each month. God has been so gracious in putting my heart at peace.
Prayer requests: 1)Getting pregnant - continued peace. And that we do! :) 2) Kellee in high school and for her future husband.

A message through Marcie

Dated 3/4/09

Marcie called me today. She had a dream. In her dream, I called to tell her I was pregnant. We began talking in the dream and Pslam 3:4 was brought up. Marcie looked it up when she woke up and this is what it says: "To the Lord I cry out and He answers me from His holy hill."

How ironic? Is this a message from you, Lord, through Marcie? I know you hear my prayers and hear me cry out the desires of my heart. And You answer me...in your way. Maybe you've been telling me it wasn't the right time. I trust you, Lord.

A tad jealous?

Dated 2/11/09

So here we are, 7 months after going off BC and Im still not pregnant. I should start my period tomorrow...I feel it coming - moodiness, zits, etc. Poor Jake.
Julianna had Zion on the 1st. It's hard to see her with him. My best friend from childhood with a beautiful baby. Jealousy, I suppose. I am so happy for her, though...he's wonderful.
Jenn and Katie have been a huge encouragement to me. Katie is going through the same thing and Jenn has all kind of fertility info 'cause that's how she was "preventing" -- until she got pregnant. :)
I'm trying so hard to remember that God's timing is better than my own. I'm really sturggling with that. Maybe He is testing my faith. Is my faith strong enough, Lord, to sustain me through this? What if we have fertility issues? Can I rely soley on You? I think my heart is all wrong. I'm not trusting the Lord and not being patient for His timing. Lord, you know the struggles within my heart and you know my desires. I want an unfaltering love for You, Lord. I want and desire a more personal relationship with you even before children so that I can raise them to honor You.
1) I pray for patience. 2)I pray that you will put my heart at peace knowning that You are working in Your timing. 3)I pray that above all else, YOU will be my satisfaction and joy in my life.

The Journey Begins!

Dated 9/7/08



So Jake took away my birth control last month!! Just before we went to Mexico, he took it away. That his way of saying he's ready to start a family. My period was a week and half late this month and I was sure I was pregnant. I got it Saturday. I'm a little disappointed, but I know it will all happen in God's timing. I'm just so excited to start a family! It's an amazing thought that we are no longer "preventing" -- we have been "preventing" for so long, it just doesn't seem real.

Kellee turned 13 Thursday. I can't believe she's 13. And she really is such a great kid. She is so sweet and genuine. I love seeing her grow up!

Jake and I moved, bought a house and now live on Cowden. It seems like it's taking forever to get our house together and that's really frustrating to me.

Not much else is new. I'm excited to start journaling again as we try to get pregnant! I can't wait to read this someday when our children are older or grown up and remember how excited I was even before they were born!