A tad jealous?

Dated 2/11/09

So here we are, 7 months after going off BC and Im still not pregnant. I should start my period tomorrow...I feel it coming - moodiness, zits, etc. Poor Jake.
Julianna had Zion on the 1st. It's hard to see her with him. My best friend from childhood with a beautiful baby. Jealousy, I suppose. I am so happy for her, though...he's wonderful.
Jenn and Katie have been a huge encouragement to me. Katie is going through the same thing and Jenn has all kind of fertility info 'cause that's how she was "preventing" -- until she got pregnant. :)
I'm trying so hard to remember that God's timing is better than my own. I'm really sturggling with that. Maybe He is testing my faith. Is my faith strong enough, Lord, to sustain me through this? What if we have fertility issues? Can I rely soley on You? I think my heart is all wrong. I'm not trusting the Lord and not being patient for His timing. Lord, you know the struggles within my heart and you know my desires. I want an unfaltering love for You, Lord. I want and desire a more personal relationship with you even before children so that I can raise them to honor You.
1) I pray for patience. 2)I pray that you will put my heart at peace knowning that You are working in Your timing. 3)I pray that above all else, YOU will be my satisfaction and joy in my life.